drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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