I wish i was in the wii world.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
