Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
