He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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