Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
