Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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