Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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