I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Who died my cat blue again?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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