My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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