i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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