respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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