dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
