Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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