I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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