She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
