3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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