i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
