Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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