hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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