Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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