Whod you bang
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
