chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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