The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
