she was so not down for the gang bang
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
