All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I have feelings that need drinking.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
