put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
