Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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