What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
