When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
