dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
