Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize