I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
i think my cat just said my name.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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