he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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