Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
