so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
