Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
