I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
then he tried to convert me to islam
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Randomize
