I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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