Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
