I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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