Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm too high and old for this...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
