do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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