I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
