so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just googled if crying burns calories
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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