did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
