i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
