How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
