So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
