I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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