stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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