If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you guys were way drunker than both of me
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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