ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
