Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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