remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Mom said you looked used
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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