Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
