The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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