Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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