Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
