Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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