Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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