Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he thought i was a dude.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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